your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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