i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
