come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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