i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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