Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
