I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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