sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
