She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
