yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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