maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
