the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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