we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
