Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
