So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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