69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
