Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
