I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
