I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
