I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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