I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
