I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
