will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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