STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
