you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
