I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
