I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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