On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
