Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
