Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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