i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
