Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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