he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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