I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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