I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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