I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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