bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
