she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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