I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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