So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
