Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
