You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
