This girl is more easily done than said...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
