would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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