Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
