He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
