oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
