Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Be still, my beating vagina.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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