so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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