plz talk dirty to me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
