Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
